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Post by spentcase on Apr 9, 2021 7:46:26 GMT
What about a CLA 45?..the looks are a bit marmite but I like them personally....plenty quick. They're quick no doubt, El Torro, but don't you have to wring they're necks to get the performance out of them? (that's a genuine question by the way fella, as I haven't driven one, I've just had a mooch at the stats) |
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Post by mekon on Apr 9, 2021 7:57:44 GMT
Jaguar drivers   |
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Apr 9, 2021 8:01:28 GMT
Turns out the same cunt designed both. You're right though. What the fuck am I thinking? I'll get 40mpg out of that Merc. All I need is a CD of a V8 motor and some leather gloves... That's the spirit, fella. There's got to be other ways to woo Joana Lumley other than the Jag. Send her a TV show concept where she travels around Scotland on the back of a motorbike, meeting artisan tradesmen and uncovering hidden gems, but for the love of God leave out the part where, after a hard day's filming, you rock up to her hotel room in a smoking jacket with a bottle of Black Tower, you rotter. Genius. I could introduce her to a Buckfast Ice Cream manufacturer. Take her to Aberdeenshire and get a farmer to demonstrate how the sheep really grind back on you if you take them to the edge of a cliff. Take her to Edinburgh and get her hammered on some quality heroin. The finale would of course involve and old firm match. She would take to the field at half time like Sir Cliff at Wimbledon and calm hostilities by serenading the crowd with sweet renditions of timeless favourites like The Fields of Athenry and The Sash my Father Wore. She'd finish off with a couple of Purdey high kicks and I'd make my move as she's being clapped/bricked off the field by a lovingly appreciative/rioting crowd. |
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Post by Droog on Apr 9, 2021 11:55:57 GMT
This is all getting far too sensible. How about you buy an old smart car. Dump the engine and put a Suzuki Hayabusa lump in it and have a turbo fitted. This is all very easy to do and I bet you could do it all in for less than £3000. Keep the current motor for normality and use the little turbo for mayhem. Makes sense to me.
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Post by mekon on Apr 9, 2021 12:04:20 GMT
If we are talking sleepers maybe he should try one of these?  I'd imagine you'd get a load of sympathy fanny and then work them into a soapy lather once the Busa turbo kicked in? |
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Post by Droog on Apr 9, 2021 12:26:44 GMT
The good old Invacar. They were built in a little factory about five miles down the road from where I live now. As a child in the 70's, I would regularly see them around where I grew up. Usually some bastard driving them on the pavement too fast outside the local shops. It wasn't until decades later that I realised why everyone who I ever saw get out of one was a midget or had some other disability.
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Apr 9, 2021 12:28:09 GMT
The good old Invacar. They were built in a little factory about five miles down the road from where I live now. As a child in the 70's, I would regularly see them around where I grew up. Usually some bastard driving them on the pavement too fast outside the local shops. It wasn't until decades later that I realised why everyone who I ever saw get out of one was a midget or had some other disability. Probably explains why their driving was so shite tbh. |
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Post by Droog on Apr 9, 2021 12:40:20 GMT
One of my dad's friends was a dwarf. Lovely bloke who was in a band when he was young. Never famous but had a few records out. He used to drive a MK1 escort with those extended pedals. He was tiny, so those extenders made the pedals come level with the seat. Never had any issues driving it though. The problem with the Invacar was that you had to raise the handlebars to drive and lowering them made it brake I think. Bloody difficult to keep the bars raised for any length of time I should imagine.
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Post by mekon on Apr 9, 2021 13:02:38 GMT
Needs its own race series.
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Post by Eddie The Bastard on Apr 9, 2021 19:43:39 GMT
This is all getting far too sensible. How about you buy an old smart car. Dump the engine and put a Suzuki Hayabusa lump in it and have a turbo fitted. This is all very easy to do and I bet you could do it all in for less than £3000. Keep the current motor for normality and use the little turbo for mayhem. Makes sense to me. I'm sure I read a few years ago that someone put two 'busa engines into a Caterham 7 to make it four wheel drive. I bet that'd be a chuckle. |
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Post by Eddie The Bastard on Apr 10, 2021 11:05:10 GMT
Okay elnoodle the reasonable why not go for a BMW M140i? You'll stand your ground with anyone in that and not look like Farage on chemo. |
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Post by mekon on Apr 10, 2021 11:11:51 GMT
How about a Hellcat. That literally screams look how straight I am.
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Post by spentcase on Apr 10, 2021 11:40:53 GMT
Due to torque numbers I reckon there's near on no difference between the 340i and the 335d when going for it on the road.
The advantage of the 335d is the fuel economy, insurance and road tax (pre the new luxury car tax).
I think the 335d is about 4.7 on the 0 to 60, but the in gear pick up is well rapido.
Having said that, the M340i as recommended by young Eduardo el Bastardo is a lovely bit of kit.
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Post by Eddie The Bastard on Apr 10, 2021 11:49:50 GMT
Due to torque numbers I reckon there's near on no difference between the 340i and the 335d when going for it on the road. The advantage of the 335d is the fuel economy, insurance and road tax (pre the new luxury car tax). I think the 335d is about 4.7 on the 0 to 60, but the in gear pick up is well rapido. Having said that, the M340i as recommended by young Eduardo el Bastardo is a lovely bit of kit. I mentioned the 1 series for pocket rocket reasons. I'd rather a M2 if someone else was paying for it mind. |
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Post by pantah on Apr 10, 2021 12:10:59 GMT
I reckon his noodleship will be confused dot cum right now. You cunts are firing model numbers at him like Swiss Tony on steroids.
My guess is he’ll stick with old faithful.
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