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Post by pantah on Apr 6, 2021 14:00:07 GMT
Middle aged
biker forum injury shocker !!
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Post by mekon on Apr 6, 2021 14:38:33 GMT
Maybe a switch to some sort of pain related perversion would be a good move? We could all enjoy all this pain?
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Apr 6, 2021 14:44:44 GMT
WE ARE ALL MASONMART!
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Apr 6, 2021 15:02:45 GMT
Most of us are fucked up due to having lived active lives. Not this cunt. I enjoyed an extremely unhealthy lifestyle until my mid-30s and it's been a fucking struggle since. Bike injuries haven't helped but fuck me, the effort required not to be a fat cunt in your 50s is not insignificant. Emdy see the Ricky Jervais routine about his bollocks becoming longer than his cock? That's absolutely a thing and it turns cycling into something of an extreme sport. As you cycle, you need to use your thighs to gently nudge your plums back on to the seat. One side at a time on each up stroke of your cadence. The balance is precarious and the danger is that, on the down stroke of, say, the left thigh, the up stroke nudging of the right thigh takes too heavy a touch and sends your bag of marbles flying off the left side of the seat to hangle dangerously in the wind. When the left thigh comes up, instead of nudging your jizz pods onto the seat, it crushes them under it like 2 spacehoppers in a train crash. It's fucking dangerous living. |
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Post by armstrongracer on Apr 6, 2021 15:14:39 GMT
Speak for yerself. Don't you remember when he got the arse cos we laughed about Robin Mortimer a Belgian dungeon & Mistress Lucrezia. Can do without having me scrote nailed to the table thank you very much. I'll stick with the Nivea hand cream and Mamma Mir's Instagram page iif it's all the same. |
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Apr 6, 2021 15:20:32 GMT
Speak for yerself. Don't you remember when he got the arse cos we laughed about Robin Mortimer a Belgian dungeon & Mistress Lucrezia. Can do without having me scrote nailed to the table thank you very much. Ha ha ha ha, fucking, ha ha ha ha. I had forgotten all about that. |
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Post by Diego the toe clipper on Apr 6, 2021 15:31:34 GMT
My bank account seems to be missing a few zeroes to be Mason... and the numbers are in the wrong colour.
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Post by pantah on Apr 6, 2021 17:41:05 GMT
For all we know the annoying cunt is dead and buried, probably mummified and buried in the family tomb with his stable of classic bikes and gold bullion.
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Post by spentcase on Apr 6, 2021 17:48:57 GMT
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Post by Droog on Apr 6, 2021 18:37:45 GMT
I have a doctors appointment this Thursday. Been years since I had one. The poor cunt is going to get a massive list of all my issues. I honestly struggle to wipe my arse with my right hand. My rotator cuff is fucked. Been like it for about 18 months or more. I can barely sleep most nights.
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Apr 6, 2021 18:40:49 GMT
I have a doctors appointment this Thursday. Been years since I had one. The poor cunt is going to get a massive list of all my issues. I honestly struggle to wipe my arse with my right hand. My rotator cuff is fucked. Been like it for about 18 months or more. I can barely sleep most nights. If you're going with a list then make sure you get an extended appointment. My GP's an utter cunt for ringing the bell when the 5 minutes is up. |
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Post by Droog on Apr 6, 2021 18:51:10 GMT
It's a phone appointment to discuss having a proper appointment lol.
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Post by mekon on Apr 6, 2021 18:52:35 GMT
I would also struggle to sleep with a shitty arse, Droog.
Tbh I'm a right handed arse-wiper and my internal shoulder rotation is pretty good but I'd be buggered if I had to use my left as it's terrible, like an action man figure with a stuck joint. Maybe there's an invention we can come up with?
I've invented the tackle tray cycle seat. It's like a normal seat but instead of pointy end it's got a rectangular tray to lay your bits. OF course, users must buy into the 'system' and buy the accompanying cycling shorts with an opening as well a proprietary tackle tray cover so you bits aren't showing. Only problem is you can't get out of the saddle to sprint so you also have to buy a bigger rear sprocket to go with it as well.
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Post by Droog on Apr 6, 2021 18:55:21 GMT
One thing that has bypassed me thankfully in old age is my testicles haven't lost the battle with gravity.
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Post by spentcase on Apr 6, 2021 21:36:28 GMT
I have a doctors appointment this Thursday. Been years since I had one. The poor cunt is going to get a massive list of all my issues. I honestly struggle to wipe my arse with my right hand. My rotator cuff is fucked. Been like it for about 18 months or more. I can barely sleep most nights. Your doctor will perform a rorschach test on you, using your own shitted up bed sheets as the test images. |
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