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Post by neilf on Mar 5, 2020 8:58:33 GMT
That's easy for you to say. Odd... that's meant to be a picture of Simon Pegg drinking a pint at The Winchester waiting for all this to blow over! |
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Mar 6, 2020 0:07:49 GMT
Fuck the sick, it's all about ratings
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Mar 6, 2020 0:31:41 GMT
Spent 3 nights in various hotels at the very north of Britain this week. Buffet breakfasts at every one.
Went into Tesco tonight. Not an alcohol gel dispersal point in sight.
Somewhat concerned about the number of people for whom washing their hands seems to be a new and exciting adventure.
We're all getting this. You'll probably get it off of me by reading this.
There was an old woman in the Palace hotel in Inverness taking ages at the fruit salad, creating a fucking big queue because she was only picking out the passion fruit and melon segments and leaving the bits of apple and pear. I hope she fucking gets it, the selfish old cow.
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Post by mekon on Mar 6, 2020 8:22:55 GMT
Old people are cunts. My concentrated experience of boomers over the last 2 months has confirmed this. My parents live in Harrogate which is the ultimate northern rich boomer town and the cunt factor is off the scale.
Badly parked jags and M and S food for all!
Virus take them all!
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Mar 6, 2020 8:26:20 GMT
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Post by nippon on Mar 6, 2020 8:49:00 GMT
supposed to be going to see post-britpop giants 'embrace' tonight on a freebie. i've decided not to go.
not cos of the virus. i just hate anthems.
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Mar 7, 2020 19:12:01 GMT
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Post by mekon on Mar 7, 2020 21:21:02 GMT
What's the trick for maximum protection then?
One quick wank, one slow one, two quick ones? Every day? Every other day? Can you wife do it for you or do you have to do it?
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Mar 7, 2020 23:41:06 GMT
It's tremendous news however you look at it. This could replace the "wash your hands" advice nationwide. We could see wanking stations set up in the workplace and in supermarkets and gyms. Especially gyms. Jizz floods could be a real threat to communities already feeling the strain of devastation but would be a price worth paying. Maybe this is the real reason cunts are panic buying bog roll.
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Post by mekon on Mar 8, 2020 18:31:01 GMT
Obviously Italy is in the grip of a wanking crisis. The Korean death rate is quite low so they must be putting bishop bashing measures into full practice.
Maybe this is what's behind the Chinese welding people into the tower blocks. Trap them and then stream in Brazzers material 24/7 to combat the virus.
You could get a noble prize for this Noodle!
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Post by philthewindsurfer on Mar 8, 2020 20:00:23 GMT
It's tremendous news however you look at it. This could replace the "wash your hands" advice nationwide. We could see wanking stations set up in the workplace and in supermarkets and gyms. Especially gyms. Jizz floods could be a real threat to communities already feeling the strain of devastation but would be a price worth paying. Maybe this is the real reason cunts are panic buying bog roll. I have to walk past a gym (called The Gym) to get to my Chinese supermarket (Wah Hing) to buy some chillies & spices. Poole's 1st case has been identified, a member at The Gym, so thats shut and they are deep cleaning it* Obviously I need to toss myself off, but how many times do I need to sing Happy Birthday for? *edit. They say its going to take 3 days to clean the gym. If everywhere closes for that long every time someone tests positive for the virus, nothing will be open in a couple of weeks time. |
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Mar 8, 2020 21:40:47 GMT
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Mar 9, 2020 12:13:45 GMT
Obviously I need to toss myself off, but how many times do I need to sing Happy Birthday for? Surely you would sing God Save the Queen? I've tried it to Flower of Scotland but I just end up depressed and crying. |
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Post by beefus on Mar 9, 2020 19:21:44 GMT
Obviously I need to toss myself off, but how many times do I need to sing Happy Birthday for? I've tried it to Flower of Scotland but I just end up depressed and crying. It’s a depressing national anthem, needs livening up a bit like the Italian and French anthems...still, we beat the French yesterday...silver lining an al that! |
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Post by Eddie The Bastard on Mar 9, 2020 19:28:48 GMT
I've tried it to Flower of Scotland but I just end up depressed and crying. It’s a depressing national anthem, needs livening up a bit like the Italian and French anthems...still, we beat the French yesterday...silver lining an al that! GSTQ is hardly techno. Feels more funeral suited to me. Perhaps some new words could be swapped in. Agree about the French and Italian ones. |
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