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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Sept 27, 2024 15:24:13 GMT
If any cunt still hasn't seen Nobody, it should still be kicking around All4.
Bob Odenkirk (Saul out of better call Saul, Breaking Bad) in a bit of unlikely casting plays Hutch, a mild mannered family man who fails to adequately protect his family during a break-in at their home. But Hutch has a violent past as a CIA 'fixer' and a series of events, kicked off by the robbery, means that he has to become a person that he had left behind.
The storyline doesn't seem that original but the execution of it is a thing of beauty. Watched it a few times now and every time the quality just shines through a bit more. From an impeccably executed soundtrack to Odenkirk's excellent performance in the lead role, this is a modern classic for me. Sadly they're making a sequel which rarely improves anything but appreciate this for what it is.
8/10, no tits (I think)
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Post by mekon on Oct 4, 2024 11:34:25 GMT
Salem's lot (2024)
Fuck this film. Fuck it in it's stupid ass. Waited ages for this after the shit that was Rob Lowe's 2004 effort and this is even worse. The film does literally zero world building and character development. Remember the 1979 TV mini series? That took its time, built the world and the people, had a sense of something evil creeping into the town and people going bad and dying oddly. This literally starts with the vampire being delivered to the house. That shit was like 40 mins into the original.
There is just consequence to anything in this film as you give zero fucks about anyone in it. You get no sense of the protagonists having any connections. The lead child barely appears to have any parents. In the original him and his family were drawn out quite well so you had an idea about what actions they may take. In this you know nothing and the actions the child takes seem like madness.
I knew this was going to be a shitshow when it clocked in at about 110mins. One review I read said they felt like they'd accidently fast forwarded and missed a bit. I get the impression it's been cut down.
5/10 if that. NO TITS.
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Post by Eddie The Bastard on Oct 5, 2024 11:34:49 GMT
Ghost Stories (2017)
After receiving a file with details of three unexplained cases of apparitions, skeptical professor Phillip Goodman embarks on a terrifying trip.
A very decent UK film. If you like your spooky stuff, give it a whirl. BBC iPlayer.
Dark, moody and trippy.
9/10
No tits.
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Post by mekon on Oct 5, 2024 15:17:46 GMT
Wolfs (2024) Apple tv or limited cinema release.
Uurrrghh...can barely be bothered to review this. Apple must have paid off reviewers or something on this one....
Clooney and Pitt are 'fixers'...the both get called to fix the same problem and think it only needs one of them. The problem isn't actually dead and a hilarious thriller comedy ensues involving drug dealers etc....except it's not funny or thrilling. Pitt and Coonry just do that funny talking over each other thing, which isn't funny and both are looking like old cunts now.
This was utterly tedious.
4/10. No tits.
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Post by mekon on Oct 7, 2024 9:28:31 GMT
I am not going to see joker 2. Apparently it's a bit fuck you if you thought the original was something to identify with. This time the joker gets bum raped and made redundant in his own film.
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Post by mekon on Oct 18, 2024 7:08:32 GMT
As I am a filthy pirate I found a decent copy of that joker film and decided to see how shit it really is. Fuck me, it is shit. The most overwhelming problem with it is that it is utterly boring. Literally nothing happens for most of the film. The only thing I can see what they did with it is to get try and work a different Joker origin story into it as Batman was a child in this setting.
Imagine if you watched Alien and the sequel was just people sat around talking about the alien. That's pretty much this film
2/10 utter tripe (no tits)
This has created a major problem for DC going forward now as the joker will just some guy who gets bummed in prison. He's done as a Batman villian now.
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Post by neilf on Oct 18, 2024 7:24:18 GMT
As I am a filthy pirate I found a decent copy of that joker film and decided to see how shit it really is. Fuck me, it is shit. The most overwhelming problem with it is that it is utterly boring. Literally nothing happens for most of the film. The only thing I can see what they did with it is to get try and work a different Joker origin story into it as Batman was a child in this setting. Imagine if you watched Alien and the sequel was just people sat around talking about the alien. That's pretty much this film 2/10 utter tripe (no tits) This has created a major problem for DC going forward now as the joker will just some guy who gets bummed in prison. He's done as a Batman villian now. It's a multiverse thing: the "new" DCU film series, being headed by James Gunn (director of the Guardians of the galaxy series and DC's The Suicide Squad) and Peter Safran (producer of Aquaman, Shazam!, The Conjuring) will be a separate "timeline" with no connection to Joker and Joker 2. None are these are connected to The Batman (film)/The Penguin (tv series), or the DCEU films started by Zack Snyder... it's a bloody mess! |
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Post by mekon on Oct 18, 2024 11:17:35 GMT
The problem is now every version of the joker has now been memed into being that kid in the greenhouse in Scum. They've completely destroyed the character in any universe.
I may go see that Smile 2 film. Not sure yet.
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Oct 18, 2024 18:05:07 GMT
The Place Beyond the Pines.
Hadn't seen this before. Ends up a completely different film from the one it started and scrolls through several different films on the way. In that respect it looks like a bit of a dogs dinner until it all comes together at the end.
Starts off with Ryan Gosling as a circus stunt rider who discovers he has a baby son. He starts robbing banks using his bike as a getaway.
Can't really reveal much more without a tonne of spoilers but it's well worth watching.
8/10 no tits.
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Post by neilf on Oct 19, 2024 20:09:42 GMT
Starts off with Ryan Gosling as a circus stunt rider who discovers he has a baby son. He starts robbing banks using his bike as a getaway. I loved the walk through at the start! |
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Post by neilf on Oct 20, 2024 10:11:39 GMT
The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (Amazon Prime): Guy Ritchie directs Henry Cavill (Man of Steel, The Man From U.N.C.L.E.) and Alan Ritchson (Reacher, Smallville) in a WWII espionage action comedy, dramatising a fictional version of Operation Postmaster.
Lots of fun, with Cavill hamming it up as Gus March-Phillipps, founder of the British Army's No. 62 Commando, also known as Small Scale Raiding Force (SSRF), one of the forerunners of the SAS (thank you Wikipedia). Plenty of action, a bit of cloak and dagger, just the right amount of humour, although occasionally it felt a little forced.
Definitely worth a go if you're able to put aside any disbelief, take your brain out and watch the pretty pictures!
No tits, but plenty of side boob from Eiza González!
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Post by mekon on Nov 8, 2024 11:28:54 GMT
Venom - the last dance (2024)
Not sure about this one. It's not a bad film but at the same time the opening plot explanation is massively contrived just to come up with an excuse for another venom film. Basically somewhere in another dimension imprisoned for all eternity is a very person, he was imprisoned by the symbiotes but if one bonds with it's host it forms a key that will release him.....bad man sends monsters to look for this key. That's about the plot. Venom is being hunted by these monsters....oh and he's also being hunted by humans because they are also doing symbiote research in Area 51 but actually a secret area within the supposedly secret area.
There's basically lots of chases and fighting and smashing things up with some Venon/Hardy banter thrown in. Hardy plays the entire movie as if he's drunk or just got off a massive bender. Not exactly phoning it in but not his best.
ALong the way they also come across a wacky family on the way to area 51 to see aliens. Not quite sure why aliens would be a big deal in a universe in which you have superheroes, intergalatic villians and Thanos once appeared? Basically they are there to try to inject comedy and be saved.
The film is very much the last Venom film but I can't say I miss the series as I found it meh as a whole.
6/10 no tits
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Post by Eddie The Bastard on Nov 8, 2024 20:08:27 GMT
The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare (2024)
The British military recruits a small group of highly skilled soldiers to strike against German forces behind enemy lines during World War II.
I may not be the best person to review this as a non fan of Guy Ritchie.
If you are going to make a film based upon genuine war heroes, don't turn them into cartoon characters.
Not a terrible film but I guess this is the modern way.
It dragged.
No tits.
3.5/10
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Post by mekon on Nov 8, 2024 21:00:50 GMT
I didnt find it great either. It all seemed a bit forced to me. Can't be doing with Reacher either since he a)is a raving lefty actor type b)denied doing steroids but they claims TRT isn't steroids...yes you clearly look like a low testosterone individual who is only doing a mild dose to bring themselves up to normal male levels.
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Post by Diego the toe clipper on Nov 12, 2024 15:43:59 GMT
Been flying a lot recently so seen a few films on the planes.
Fictional spiel surrounding the moon landings, Fly Me To The Moon.
Not bad, starts out quite entertaining and plays nicely to both the conspiracy theorists and the believers. The plot gets a bit silly towards the end though, which spoils what could have been quite a decent film, although it was never going to be a masterpiece. Not too convinced by Chaining Tantrum's acting, but he just about pulled it off. Woody Harrelson plays Woody Harrelson quite convincingly though.
6.66667/10
No tits (but, call me sad if you will, Scarlett Johansson doesn't have to get them out to give me a semi).
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