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Post by mekon on Aug 21, 2023 6:58:10 GMT
Spiderverse 2 thing (2023)
Ok, I liked the first film it was really good. Yoof consensus was that this was even better. Even better you say, I need to see that!
Sadly most of the film felt like a confusing acid trip. Was this actually the film or had I been spiked with acid? How spiderman versions did we need? Lots. How confusing did it need to be? lots. Did it need to be as cohesive as the last film? No, fuck that. Were the visuals over the top and felt like they were just doing it because they could? Yes. Did you enjoy it? I'm not even sure.
This was all a bit too zoomer for me. It felt like you needed to have adhd or the ability to be on your phone whilst watching tv and trying to do your homework or something to enjoy it.
5/10 for being overhyped. No tits.
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Post by neilf on Aug 21, 2023 7:32:01 GMT
Spiderverse 2 thing (2023) Ok, I liked the first film it was really good. Yoof consensus was that this was even better. Even better you say, I need to see that! Sadly most of the film felt like a confusing acid trip. Was this actually the film or had I been spiked with acid? How spiderman versions did we need? Lots. How confusing did it need to be? lots. Did it need to be as cohesive as the last film? No, fuck that. Were the visuals over the top and felt like they were just doing it because they could? Yes. Did you enjoy it? I'm not even sure. This was all a bit too zoomer for me. It felt like you needed to have adhd or the ability to be on your phone whilst watching tv and trying to do your homework or something to enjoy it. 5/10 for being overhyped. No tits. I enjoyed Spider-Man: Across the Spiderverse. Not as good as the first one, but still very entertaining... but yeah, it bit of mind trip! |
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Post by mekon on Aug 27, 2023 19:57:27 GMT
Cobweb (2023) A HORROR FILM!!
Well like most horror, it starts off ok then goes to pot and into tropes because nobody can come with entirely original horror ideas now. Young lad with weird parents get bullied at school. Starts hearing a voice in the house. Parents says you're a nutter, you. Voice is friendly and tells him to fight back against the bully, which goes so well he gets expelled. Now he has to stay at home and it seems that neither his parents or the voice are quite what they seemed.
As I've said this starts off ok but once the cat is out of the bag about what is going on it falls into used up ideas and even throws in a cheap revenge plot from the school bully just to up the body count as otherwise there wouldn't be much to the film.
It's better than most modern horror and is worth a watch but it's not worth your money at the cinema. 6/10. No tits.
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Post by beefus on Aug 28, 2023 7:17:04 GMT
Your Honour - Bryan Cranston is a Judge in New Orleans who's son is involved in a fatal head-on crash with a motorcyclist who turns out to be the son of the head of the city's biggest crime family. Queue panic and cover-up...started season 2 yesterday, it's pretty good, Cranston is always good to watch.
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Post by mekon on Aug 28, 2023 9:54:01 GMT
Talk to me (2023) MORE HORROR!
The film starts with some dude doing a murder suicide....cut to some hip young people who have got an embalmed hand. The hand allows you to contact the dead. If you say let me in the dead can possess you but you've got to break connection before 90s. Initially hilarity ensues with comedy possessions but then something happens and the 90s rule is broken...
This was a fairly decent horror. Once again, not sure if it's worth £10 at the cinema but worth a watch I suppose. Disappointingly no tits. 7/10
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Post by Eddie The Bastard on Aug 28, 2023 20:39:40 GMT
Straight Outta Compton (2015) The rap group NWA emerges from the mean streets of Compton in Los Angeles, California, in the mid-1980s and revolutionizes Hip Hop culture with their music and tales about life in the hood.I knew I was going to like this because I liked the music; it was the next 'thing' after punk to me. Interesting to see the back stories of the main men. All very modest. Cube and Dre were involved in the production so it must be close to the truth. Top sound track and a few tits see it get an 8.5 from me. Oh, some south coast oddness: www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-sussex-48443134 Beat that, rest of the UK. |
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Post by mekon on Sept 3, 2023 17:58:24 GMT
No Hard Feelings (2023)
Jennifer Lawrence is a useless whore who can't keep a man, a job, or her car. Because she's a whore she takes on a contract with some rich parents who want her to make a man of their nerdy son.... and shag him....for a car. The film then goes on a comedy rampage as Lawrence attempts to pretend she's suddenly into mr nerd and seduce into shagging her. Except perhaps it's not that funny. It's mostly jokes on how Lawrence's character is old now and not down with the kids at 32 but this gets boring after a while. The kid by and large has zero testosterone so is also very hard for Lawrence to get revved up. If my parents had paid Jennifer Lawrence to come round to teenage me, I'd have smashed both doors in about 6 times within minutes of meeting her. Even if you were gay you'd probably fuck her just because....
5/10 Tits and muff. Ok 6/10 because of tits and muff
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Sept 4, 2023 8:14:52 GMT
Going in Style
3 old cunts get shafted out of their pensions so decide to rob the bank that they hold partly responsible.
Another Michael Caine elderly heist caper and I wish to fuck that he'd just stop. He can't possibly need the money.
3/10. No tits.
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Post by pantah on Sept 6, 2023 19:48:39 GMT
The Ninth Gate
Dark gothic tale of a book collector’s quest to authenticate his book which reputed to be written by satan but there are two other known copies. Johnny Depp plays his hired hand and is sent to Europe to do the deed. This is a well made and fascinating film directed by Roman Polanski and if you’re patient there’s tits on show right near the end.
8/10
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Post by Eddie The Bastard on Sept 7, 2023 18:27:45 GMT
Boyz n the Hood (1991)
Follows the lives of three young males living in the Crenshaw ghetto of Los Angeles, dissecting questions of race, relationships, violence, and future prospects.
Blimey, 32 years ago. I watched it again after all these years. Some of the clothes were a bit awkward, but I thought it held up well. To think that the number of shooters has gone up so much since then is scary.
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Post by mekon on Sept 8, 2023 7:38:00 GMT
Boogeyman(2023)
Fuck me this was generic. The trouble with modern horror is it seems to all use the same sort of techniques when it comes to filming and all have the same look and use the same types of shots and settings. The BOOGEYman (WTF Americans...boogey) is no different, it's all moody teenagers and lots of lonely looking shots and everything is DARK. NOBODY HAS ANY FUCKING LIGHTS AND IF THEY DO THEY MUST BE 3W OR SOMETHING!!!
Anyway....film opens with a child being killed by something that comes through doors that left open in bedroom...a bit like a BOGEYman. Film then cuts to the present with a moppy, Billie Eilish looking girl sulking because he mum died and she gets bullied at school. Kids these days....Her dad is psychiatrist and ends up talking to the dad of child killed earlier, he tells them he didn't kill the kids and it was the BOGEYman. Yeah right you mad fuck. Anyway..somehow the BOGEYman now ends up in the mopy teenager's house and starts terrorising her child sister.
This film is all JUMP scares. BOO! There's a BOGEYman. BOO! There they are again! BOO! And again. Hold on, he can't come out if put the lights on....shall we put the lights on? Nah. The other problem is you don't really care about the characters. Just die already!
5/10. no tits. Getting sick of boring, something evil that feeds of misery storylines now.
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Sept 9, 2023 18:24:32 GMT
Relic (iplayer)
Australian movie. An old woman goes missing so her daughter and granddaughter turn up at her house to try and find out what happened to her. There is evidence in the house that the old dear is losing it. Then she turns up just as mysteriously as she disappeared. As her behaviour becomes more and more erratic it gradually becomes apparent that they are not alone in the house.
I'm not usually a fan of supernatural/horror type films because ultimately they are mostly disappointing. This is an exception. The suspense builds and builds and doesn't rely on cheap bangs. Honest to fuck, at times you wish a cheap bang would come just to break the tension. It's proper edge of the seat stuff and while the ending is a bit weird it just fits.
8/10 no tits
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Sept 15, 2023 21:26:21 GMT
The Fence (All4)
Set in about 1982-ish it tells the tale of any fucking one of us as a fresh faced teenager buying his first bike. The bike gets stolen and he embarks on a safari through local scummery trying to get it back, eventually enlisting the assistance of his psycho elder brother who is walking a tightrope of bail conditions.
I found this film very frustrating. It's good but it could have been excellent with an era defining soundtrack. The tunes are sparse but absolutely light the film up when they do appear. Worth a watch but fuck me it could have been so much more.
6/10 partial side tit
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Post by Eddie The Bastard on Sept 17, 2023 8:52:08 GMT
The Locksmith (2023)
A thief fresh out of prison, tries to work his way back into the life of his daughter and ex-fiancé. Determined, he is forced to use the skills he has as a gifted locksmith. Things take a tumultuous turn after an unexpected disappearance.
Well. Nothing new really. Paced pretty well but a few too many cliches fro me. I can't say don't watch it though as it was put together well.
No tits.
6/10
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Post by mekon on Sept 17, 2023 14:03:37 GMT
Dead and buried (1981)
Once on the video nasties list this isn't quite as trash as you'd expect, it even had a good twist at the end. It is fairly nasty but compared to most modern gore it's nothing really.
The quiet town of Potters Bluff is an ok place to visit...until the locals decide they want to kill you...what doesn't make sense is when the local cop keeps seeing the people that were just murdered. What the dickens is going on? Are the zombies or what? Is he nuts?
The 80s certainly was the high period for horror imo and this is a solid slice. 8/10 and tits within minutes.
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