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Post by spentcase on May 25, 2021 8:07:17 GMT
Mizen Head, sitting on a dock wall looking out at the Atlantic having a quiet pint at the end of a long hike. Heard a repeated knocking, sound source of the noise was a sea otter bobbing up & down in the waves floating on his back cracking an urchin on his belly with a rocks in his paw. Pure Magic. I like otters they're cool as fuck, but they can be a bit menkle. Just ask Terry Nutkins. |
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Post by Diego the toe clipper on May 25, 2021 8:07:35 GMT
I've photographed many things but have still yet to capture a kingfisher. The fast flying cunts. I'm shit at taking photos but sometimes I wish I was more of a snapper. I was eating breakfast in Cuba one day years ago and I glanced out of the "window" next to me (it was just a mosquito mesh over an opening in the wall, no glass) and a tiny humming bird was hovering at a flower growing infront of the building, literally less than a metre from me. Amazing to see, but no photo sadly. |
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Post by spentcase on May 25, 2021 8:20:12 GMT
I've photographed many things but have still yet to capture a kingfisher. The fast flying cunts. I'm shit at taking photos but sometimes I wish I was more of a snapper. I was eating breakfast in Cuba one day years ago and I glanced out of the "window" next to me (it was just a mosquito mesh over an opening in the wall, no glass) and a tiny humming bird was hovering at a flower growing infront of the building, literally less than a metre from me. Amazing to see, but no photo sadly. It was just pretending to like the the flowers. In reality it was scoping your widgie, the voyeuristic cunt. Either that or it was a commie regime surveillance drone in disguise. |
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Post by spentcase on May 25, 2021 14:02:58 GMT
I can't lie, I do find a dog with massive balls hilarious.
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Post by roobarb on May 25, 2021 15:20:38 GMT
No coincidence that chimps are massive cunts, being the closest ape relative to humans like.
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Post by mekon on May 25, 2021 15:38:29 GMT
I can't lie, I do find a dog with massive balls hilarious. In Hong Kong these monkey cunts were raiding all the tourists pack ups and the biggest cunt also physically had the biggest balls. He was a proper bastard and flashed the teeth if anyone tried to get rid of him. |
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Post by roobarb on May 25, 2021 16:01:20 GMT
There's this beach in Western Australia called Monkey Mia that has it's very own semi-tame pod of dolphins that come up to the shoreline every day to be fed and prodded by dolt tourists.
The park ranger guy or whatever the fuck he was spotted incoming fins so me and a couple of dozen other dolts waded out to a depth of about two feet and waited.
Three or four adult dolphins came up, got their free fishys and put up with human interaction for a bit.
Then this baby dolphin appeared in front of me; it turned on its side, opened its jaws and very gently closed them around my lower leg.
We stared at each other for about 15 seconds; I thought I might be up for a-bleedin' followed by a-pouncin' from a big fuck-off shark waiting in the depths but Flipper Jr. released me and then disappeared.
Dolphin teeth are really fucking sharp.
There was this middle-aged German couple standing next to me who couldn't have been more "dolt tourist" if their lives depended on it. The park ranger had instructed everyone not to tease the 'phins so what does Klaus do (Klaus was indeed his actual name 'cos his hog wife kept shouting it at him)? Waves a fish in Flipper's face and panics when it makes a lunge for it. I end up with a faceful of fishy water, cheers you FUCKING STUPID KRAUT
Pretty sure it was a little bit of karma for that time earlier in the year when I took a shit on the Great Barrier Reef. I'll bung that tale in the "Shit Tardis" thread once I've got all the details straight in my head. It was thirty years ago, man.
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on May 25, 2021 16:03:05 GMT
I'm not sure it's fair to single out chimps for cuntery. I saw a colony of seals on a rock near Mull and it was basically a mass fucking brawl. It was like chucking out time at Sauchiehall St Wetherspoons.
I had taken my burd to Mull for her birthday and we went on this boat trip. Never saw whales or dolphins but when we saw all these seals I turned to her and said "remember you said you wanted to go clubbing for your birthday?" She laughed her tits off and to this day I still consider it my finest off the cuff gag but you should have seen the fucking dagger stares I got from the rest of the humourless cunts on the boat.
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on May 25, 2021 17:39:10 GMT
Right, I've cycled down to Scrabster harbour from my hotel. The Orkney ferry's in and there are a pair of Arctic Terns scoping the water for fish. Not particularly exciting but they are beautiful birds. Only saw them once before.
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Post by mekon on May 25, 2021 17:52:24 GMT
Do anyone think those chimps liked PG Tips?
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Post by roobarb on May 25, 2021 18:01:42 GMT
No.
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Post by spentcase on May 25, 2021 18:05:41 GMT
Do anyone think those chimps liked PG Tips? Did they fuck. The advert producer would get the chimps to make like they were talking by electrocuting their junk - shaft and balls. Maybe |
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Post by bella on May 25, 2021 18:15:05 GMT
I'll give two for now, Golden Eagle at Haweswater being buzzed by a Raven, and then by a pair of Peregrines defending their territory, it was like a Lancaster fending off a pair of Stukas and a Messerschmitt, every time they dived near the old boy rolled over and tried to grab one with those massive talons, lasted maybe 5 minutes, that's a long time watching stuff like that.
The other was in S/W France when a Montagues Harrier chasing prey shot out over the car, Wings spread right out, tail fanned out, brakes on the lot, swerved a tight old u turn right in front of us then swept over the field and away, lasted maybe 2 or 3 seconds but the whole of it is still vivid in my memory.
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Post by roobarb on May 25, 2021 18:40:04 GMT
I roll on in from the pub one night well after closing time and hear this screaming noise coming from the back garden.
Clear sky and full moon means I spot a stationary hedgehog.
The screaming has reduced to a wheezing.
I flip the hog with a stick and lo and behold, it's guts are hanging out; fox attack or summat
VOTE SCREAMING NOISE
I batter the cunt to death with a half-brick
Then I cried
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on May 25, 2021 18:50:51 GMT
I batter the cunt to death with a half-brick Are you one of the chimpanzees from earlier? |
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