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Post by mekon on Apr 15, 2021 14:20:57 GMT
You should bring out a DVD Phil. Phil's 30s shit programme. Or sell it to some celebrity. James Corden's 30s shit plan would sell better. Shit yourself to a new you.
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Apr 15, 2021 14:27:36 GMT
There is nothing more satisfying than having a shite at work and getting paid for it. I estimate that I earn between £400 - £600 every month curling out logs.
Actually, this could be linked to me not having had a sniff of promotion in 10 years.
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Post by spentcase on Apr 15, 2021 14:44:12 GMT
I work from home these days, but when I was in an office I would only dung on work time. So much so that I stopped shitting at home completely, including over entire weekends. Gen dit.
I think this is evidence towards shitting patterns impacting human evolution. Maybe something else to add to the study?
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Post by mekon on Apr 15, 2021 15:22:53 GMT
I wonder how racers structure their shitting patterns. I bet a machine like Marquez emptys himself each session on track.
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Post by philthewindsurfer on Apr 15, 2021 18:21:52 GMT
You should bring out a DVD Phil. Phil's 30s shit programme. Or sell it to some celebrity. James Corden's 30s shit plan would sell better. Shit yourself to a new you. DVD? Its 2021. How about a live streamed youtube event? |
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Post by Diego the toe clipper on Apr 15, 2021 20:43:59 GMT
I wonder how racers structure their shitting patterns. I bet a machine like Marquez emptys himself each session on track. Empties himself on track? What kind of sickness is that? He wears whte leathers for fuck's sake. I vomitted on track once, make your lid smell rank I can tell you. |
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Post by bella on Apr 15, 2021 21:03:32 GMT
As well as mass, Length, weight and girth another consideration needs to be made for traumas of baldy blokes dropping a log, its the amount of anal pubes decorating every deposit, i mean some of these blokes comb their anal hair up and over their bald patch and if they drop a hairy caterpillar every time they'll end up with a parting as wide as Stockton high street.
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Post by mekon on Apr 15, 2021 21:10:39 GMT
The horror, the horror.
I think we'd got an exhibitionist shitter at work. Now everyone is back the return of unflushed turd has returned. I'm close to pinning them down as I sit near the exit to the bogs and have a number of suspects pencilled in, narrowed down since it stopped over lockdown and I was still in 3 days a week. It's definitely a higher grade as well, possibly higher management. Probably an anger issue.
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Post by spentcase on Apr 16, 2021 6:34:00 GMT
The horror, the horror. I think we'd got an exhibitionist shitter at work. Now everyone is back the return of unflushed turd has returned. I'm close to pinning them down as I sit near the exit to the bogs and have a number of suspects pencilled in, narrowed down since it stopped over lockdown and I was still in 3 days a week. It's definitely a higher grade as well, possibly higher management. Probably an anger issue. Every unit I ever served in, from the Arctic to the Jungle had a phantom logger. It was kind of expected. I must admit though, I haven't seen much dunging antics at work since getting out. Although there have been a lot of rogue snot wipers in the bogs who seem intent on creating a 'bogie wonderland.' |
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Post by mekon on Apr 16, 2021 7:00:04 GMT
There also seems to be a massive sprinklecock problem in the cubicles as well. You want to sit down but have spend 30s wiping piss off the bowl.
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Post by beefus on Apr 16, 2021 7:40:34 GMT
There also seems to be a massive sprinklecock problem in the cubicles as well. You want to sit down but have spend 30s wiping piss off the bowl. I fuckin hate that, dirty bastards.....I was in a coffee place in Newcastle a couple of years ago and the toilet was unisex, this woman comes out and I go in...piss all over the seat, couldn't believe it, but my girlfriend told me that some women pee standing up because they don't want to sit on the seat. |
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Post by spentcase on Apr 16, 2021 7:42:20 GMT
There also seems to be a massive sprinklecock problem in the cubicles as well. You want to sit down but have spend 30s wiping piss off the bowl. I think the advancement of the hipster culture has led to a notable increase in prince Alberts, hence the proliferation of poor piss accuracy/spillage. |
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Post by spentcase on Apr 16, 2021 7:45:59 GMT
There also seems to be a massive sprinklecock problem in the cubicles as well. You want to sit down but have spend 30s wiping piss off the bowl. I fuckin hate that, dirty bastards.....I was in a coffee place in Newcastle a couple of years ago and the toilet was unisex, this woman comes out and I go in...piss all over the seat, couldn't believe it, but my girlfriend told me that some women pee standing up because they don't want to sit on the seat. Fucking turn it in El Beefo, I've got the tide coming in just reading that. |
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Post by mekon on Apr 16, 2021 7:53:44 GMT
A few years back we had a dirty protest thing going on across the site. It seemed to be men and women at it. Someone was dropping logs on the staircase, smearing crap on door handles and we kept having to get the toilets steam cleaned due to some Bobby Sands type stuff. The men's toilet took the biggest hits but my then girlfriend said she was in the women's cubicle and another woman walked in and literally pissed on the floor and walked out.
Crazy stuff, must have been like a mental disease that spread. Oddly enough it all stopped after a round of redundancies, which one again was mainly those higher up.
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Post by armstrongracer on Apr 16, 2021 8:06:16 GMT
Gassit nailed it.  |
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