Australia

Been to the east coast years ago so no help whatsoever about Perth stuff but Australians on the whole are pretty sound. They are straight talking and easy going with a good sense of humour. Don’t try and fit aussie words into conversation like drongo, bonza and barbie, cos it sounds daft in a Scots accent. Things to like, lack of class system and drive in off licenses. Things to not like, spiders and snakes.

I think my nephew is a copper over there. I will tell him to look out for you if you get up to no good.

My brother lives in Melbourne and says it's a bit bogan in Perth.

I have family in Broome and Melbourne, been asked to go over for few weeks free hollies a few times but no way, i'll stay over here with the worms and money spiders.

Been to Oz about 6 times but never been to west coast. I suppose its because once you're there it's so far away from the rest of the country. I hopped over to NZ a couple of times when visiting my brother in Brisbane. Agree with Meeks, it's a fantastic country (although I've only done the south island), and the climate is a lot more like our 4 seasons in one day stuff instead of the hot/humid and hotter/humider of Oz east coast. As for scary things, I've hardly seen anything apart from a few large spiders at an outside BBQ in a park, although I didn't venture into the sea...I'm not a fan of sea swimming at the best of times anywhere, never mind Oz.

I remember my first day in Australia, organised hastily as a solo trip after recovering from a broken femur delivered by an Italian driver which consequently wrote off my Guzzi Le Mans Mk1
That was 5 months earlier and I’d decided to spend the compensation on a month’s holiday up the east coast of Oz.
After arriving in Sydney I took a train north and the journey initially involved numerous stops along the suburbs of the city, the carriage gradually filling with a mixture of working people. I was very aware of my situation as a lone tourist and the fact that conversation was slim and thoughts were plenty. It’s takes a bit of adjustment to accept the loneliness of a solo traveler and I became intrigued by the casual conversation of the passengers, all apparent strangers. It struck me immediately the difference between Australians and Brits. Back home in this situation there would be limited talk but here were strangers starting up various threads of conversation, banter, a bit of good natured slagging with no hint of aggression.
This made me feel immediately at ease and straight away I took a massive liking to this country. The whole trip was unforgettable and if I can be arsed or if anyone else is interested i might try and recall some of the highlights. It did involve a bike trip, a chance encounter with a drug dealer, and a shag.

Sounds like wheeze of the week.

Is a shag with a drug dealer definitely off the cards then?

The Trip - part 1

Following on from my recent post about my trip to Oz, here’s the story in full.
The train journey from Sydney was a great introduction to the country and wound it’s way up the east coast showing off it’s beautiful coastline.i jumped off at Newcastle where I was going to stay with a friend and his family. John was a biker who emigrated 8 years earlier and showed me around for a few days before I journeyed further north. He made me feel welcome in this strange, exciting country and offered to take me out riding moto crossers, him on his 500 Yam 2 stroke and me on his mates similar Suzuki. The plan was to explore nearby bush which was heavily wooded and pretty dense in places. It started well enough with John leading the way and me just about managing to keep up but it then went tits up when I slid off due to my basic off road incompetence. By the time I remounted and kicked it back into life John had disappeared, blissfully unaware that I was no longer following. Normally this situation would not be a problem but this situation was not normal. I was in the Australian bush with no clue on compass direction, riding a strange motorcycle and silently shitting myself about the possibility of poisonous, bitey stingy things feasting on my alien form. I never did find John but I didn’t end up devoured either, eventually stumbling upon a semblance of a path which opened up the very edge of town, none of which I recognised. Everywhere was strange and I rode on till I eventually picked out a familiar landmark and then the hill which was the street where John lived. 50 m from his house the rear wheel locked suddenly, gearbox sprocket nut missing, chain and sprocket jumping the spline. It then dawned on me that Australia had other plans for me and i better start to respect the dangers it would throw at me.
The next part of my trip was to hire a bike and ride up the Gold Coast. The bike needed to be fairly light as my leg wasn’t yet strong enough to cope with a heavy beast. I managed to get a Yamaha YPVS 350 which turned out to be the perfect machine for me.
Don’t miss the next instalment which reveals an encounter with a drug dealer and (separately) a shag.