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Post by Diego the toe clipper on Dec 4, 2022 19:07:40 GMT
It's a shitty stick situation for sure. Brings up an important question I think, at what point is the "average man in the street" supposed to be able to deal with situations which need professional intervention.
I'm not doubting your capaities and dedication Meeks, but you seem to be in a situation which "Joe Public" isn't best placed to deal with. it sucks that people are left with the sensation that the system which we contribute to is not there when yu need it.
Sorry I can't be more help but than to empathise.
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Post by mekon on Dec 5, 2022 9:23:15 GMT
Well it's Monday and hopefully I'll meet a doctor today to see what they think. I think they are still wanting to send them home with some during the day care but aren't sure given the previous incident.
Been going through a LOT of paperwork. Literally 3 years worth of bills and stuff just chucked in a room. Sort of pieced my mum's finances together but he's got money everywhere. Trying to work out how they get money as my mum's not withdrawn money for ages. Seems he just gets cash out and gives her some to carry in her purse so she feels like she's got money.
The cat has been sent my mum in-laws. The car has a blown turbo but having discovered he's got glaucoma and has basically been not attending any medical appointments in the last 30 months, I'm pulling the starter fuse on the car today as there's a set of keys I can't find. Not risking it if they get sent home again. He'll kill someone.
It's all a bit snafa but my brother has said he'll pay for legal bit when I find out exactly which avenue I need to go down. Ideally I need step dad also declared not capable as he's an awkward sod. Spoke to neighbours and he won't accept any help with anything. Had plenty of offers to do garden etc. He's also a hoarder which doesn't help. 3 vacuum cleaners. 6 car tyre pumps etc. Just rubbish. In the double garage are 3 s&b lathes....never used them either. This shit will take some shifting as it came on a lorry.
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Post by mekon on Dec 7, 2022 22:32:08 GMT
READ ON FOR COMEDY!!!.......
Well parents are now in an assessment nursing home for a few weeks. This will determine care at home or nursing home for them. Step dad has sort of returned to normal and seems to understand his fate depends on him now putting on a good show and letting carers in the house. Found a power of attorney invoice, rung the solicitor and apparently I DO HAVE POA but obviously forgot i signed it 20 years ago.
Anyway, now to the good part.
I was asked to get a bad of clothes and toiletries together for the parents and found a large back in a cupboard. The large bag had an old replica Glock 17 airsoft gun in it. It'd bought it about 25 years ago after I'd split up with bird and ended up home again for a bit. Hmmm...I'll take that home. Carry on packing bag with clothes. Get to nursing home, drop off clothes. Get phone call about 9pm from the police. You appear to left a replica airsoft gun in the bag, the nursing home rang the police and sent the firearms team round. OOPS!!
Police seemed to see the funny side of it. I don't expect the staff will like me.
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Post by Eddie The Bastard on Dec 7, 2022 22:39:32 GMT
 Somebody might have needed a change of trousers there.
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Post by mekon on Jan 11, 2023 13:09:35 GMT
Fuck me. This whole thing is doing me head in. I was initially told both NEEDED to go this home for care assessment. Ok, off they go. 1 week in, step dad gets ill. Doc comes says no, not ill. 3 days later I'm getting called by hospital he's almost dead. Anyway, survives but turns out he had flu. Meanwhile mother is going mad wondering where he is. Keep telling her but she forgets. Literally 3 weeks on dealing with shit social workers who basically tell me what WILL happen doing forward as if these are legally binding actions due to my mum's dementia. Meanwhile they have decided that they no longer need the one social worker, they need two social workers that appear not to have spoken to each other about the fact they are fucking married and live in the same house!
Anyway seems thats social worker is basically just a care home ticket seller and I get a phone calls saying I've heard you're interested in xyz package? I don't fucking know??! As far as I was concerned you were sorting out what you seemed to be telling me was an obligation but now it turns out aren't. Hospitals can't seem to pass on messages about what the fuck is going with step dad and I have no idea what is going on anymore. So basically they go sent to a home for assessment, no assessment has been done and now they are wanting to send them home with a 24 care package even though they haven't been assessed as needing that and it also turns out aren't even legally obliged to take anyway as my step dad could still tell them to fuck off.
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Jan 11, 2023 13:14:56 GMT
Tory Britain.
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Post by mekon on Jan 12, 2023 12:48:01 GMT
Can't imagine it being any better in Thailand.
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Jan 12, 2023 14:16:08 GMT
Odd comparison. Surely Scotland would have been more relevant.
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Post by mekon on Jan 12, 2023 19:14:37 GMT
Had hospital on phone. Now the poor fucker had his scan results back and has a pancreatic tumour. Doc says it's a no operation job at his age and the rate it grows probably won't be fast enough to be what finishes him, so he's still coming home at some point.
Being 90 doesn't seem like much fun.
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Post by mekon on Feb 4, 2023 14:06:22 GMT
Seriously. What would you do here?
The stepdad came back home finally after he also managed to get covid just before he was about to get discharged. Anyway, comes home and immediately takes exception to the fact there's a live in carer in the house. Won't accept that she is here for my mum, he's not deemed capable of caring for her and that's that. He's also got memory problems, can barely walk and also now has a catheter which he constantly asks about and doesn't understand what it is.
Problem I have is my mum was back home a week before him and she sort of got settled and the carer had her into a routine. He comes back and starts doing stuff like trying to stop the carer giving my mum her dementia medicine and being generally obstructive with the care. He won't get out of bed, so she won't get out. Won't eat , so she won't eat. Etc.
As I have POA over my mum I thinking of just saying fuck it and taking her out of here and putting her in a care home. He's just causing chaos. The only option other than that is getting them both in a care home but I don't think he'd ever go for that as he's an arse and won't even take a shower at the moment. As the docs ruled he had mental 'capacity' then he's ok to do as he pleases. I've complained to his social care worker and said he needs a proper test as he can't practically do anything. He's literally shambling around like a zombie, was pissing blood the other day but wants no medical intervention.
I know they are man and wife but my had literally forgotten this a week ago. She told everyone in the care home one day I was her dad. I just think she may be better off in a care home as the 24 hour care isn't 24 hour care and the carer has to have 2 hours to themselves a day so guess who that is...... It's 20 miles away and at least 3 hours of my time. At the moment he in theory can cover breaks due to his 'capacity' but he's next to useless so I've been doing it.
This shit needs wrapping up before biking season starts I tell you.
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Post by Eddie The Bastard on Feb 4, 2023 19:09:18 GMT
That's pretty from mekon but you're not alone. Since his fall my dad has been bedridden. My mum didn't want him home, but he wasn't fit for home. He's in a home 40 miles from me so not easy to visit frequently. He's fine in there and easy to care for. My mum can potter about so for now my folks are 'stable'. Something has to break for you there. |
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Feb 4, 2023 20:23:07 GMT
That carer's probably on minimum wage.
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Post by mekon on Feb 4, 2023 20:30:13 GMT
The care provider is on 1600 a week.
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