Man enough for this ?

Would I fuck.

Mibbe different in Japan but in the UK you need to look at who's maintaining these things, what are their qualifications and how much do they stuff into a brown envelope for the safety inspection? How often is it inspected and what's actually checked?

You couldn't fucking pay me to go on a rollercoaster. Anywhere.

There's a "fun fair" at Strathclyde Park. The fire brigade were forever getting called to rescue cunts left dangling upside down. I sued them years ago after my daughter got injured on the dodgems. And there were some kids a few years ago that lost their legs at Alton Towers.

You go on these things and just assume that they're safe and properly operated when often they're neither.

I think it was Saw at Thorpe Park that gave me brain aches. Never going on that again. It was the lateral forces that hurt.

I was never a fan of stuff like that, but as a "post-Covid treat" my wife decided we should all go to Port Aventura at the beginning of the summer and it soon transpired that I was not going to be able to avoid going on the "big rides" without getting a lot of grief from the kids. For most of the morning I got away with the old "oh, the little one can't go on this one, he's not tall enough, I'lñl go with hime to find one he can go on" line! But soon enough my older boy was beginning to see through my veneer of fear!

I ended up being dragged onto this (which when built broke some records for height and speed I think), Shambhala.



It was great, but I had to steady myself when we got off, like an old geezer I was, knees trembling and all...

What I will not go on is mobile fun fair shit. All propped up on wooden blocks and lashed up in a few hours off a trailer by some 15 year-old pissed up pikies? No fucking chance.

My kids wanted to go on a trampoline thing with bungee elastics at the beach a few years back, so they were in the queue about to get their turn when I noticed that half of the pins securing the foldable legs were missing the R Clips which would stop them from sliding out. I whipped them out of the queue quick sharp, and made it quite clear that the thing was a death trap and made our escape quick sharp.

Yeah, that's the one. We had weekend tickets and spent all Saturday in Port Aventura then went into Ferrari land on Sunday morning. It is shite though, only one decent ride with a 2 hour queue, so we just went back into the main Port Aventura park and spent the whole Sunday doing it all again. We went on some of the rides 5 or 6 times over the two days. Not the Shambhalah though, once was enough for that one!

See, that's how they get you in. It's sneakily caveated by the word 'probably' but you'd have been that fucking keen that you 'probably' didn't notice.