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Post by Eddie The Bastard on Mar 15, 2021 7:42:42 GMT
I think the 'carry on' is a subconscious defence mechanism kicking in. If you don't you might ruminate too much and lose your shit. If you carry on, your brain is working on it behind the scenes.
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Post by spentcase on Mar 15, 2021 7:59:28 GMT
Absolutely, Eduardo.
Although when something happens at a young age it can have ramifications that you don't realize because they become you're normal behavioral patterns or they just exacerbate existing traits.
Having said that it is a deeply individual experience. Some people are fine with things the way they are, some need help from an early age and some think they're fine but only find out to the contrary when the wheels fall off.
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Post by philthewindsurfer on Mar 15, 2021 8:11:39 GMT
I was watching Saturday Kitchen on Saturday whilst doing a workout. Stacey Dooley was the guest and her 'hell' was slow roasted pork belly with kale and garlic. What? Thats a 'heaven'. Her 'heaven' was some posh nosh, roasted poussin. Fuck that, I stopped my workout, logged onto the BBC site and voted 'hell'. I'm a heartless bastard me.
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Post by beefus on Mar 15, 2021 9:16:07 GMT
I was watching Saturday Kitchen on Saturday whilst doing a workout. Stacey Dooley was the guest and her 'hell' was slow roasted pork belly with kale and garlic. What? Thats a 'heaven'. Her 'heaven' was some posh nosh, roasted poussin. Fuck that, I stopped my workout, logged onto the BBC site and voted 'hell'. I'm a heartless bastard me. Saw that....roasted poussin (aka roast chicken) and veg! 😉 give me the pork belly anytime!! I didn’t vote though....what a thoughtless, heartless git you are Phil 😉🤣🤣 |
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Post by Diego the toe clipper on Mar 15, 2021 9:28:46 GMT
I think the 'carry on' is a subconscious defence mechanism kicking in. If you don't you might ruminate too much and lose your shit. If you carry on, your brain is working on it behind the scenes. Yeah, that's about right, but where's the middle ground? If my wife is distraught about a neighbour we hardly know, how is she going to cope when one of her parents' numbers are up? Maybe she knows this isn't rational either and she's doing the opposite to me, i.e. getting a head start on grief and letting the excess out early? (Her step-dad is the same age as the neighbour that died, so she can't help but draw parallels). |
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Post by spentcase on Mar 15, 2021 12:37:49 GMT
I was watching Saturday Kitchen on Saturday whilst doing a workout. Stacey Dooley was the guest and her 'hell' was slow roasted pork belly with kale and garlic. What? Thats a 'heaven'. Her 'heaven' was some posh nosh, roasted poussin. Fuck that, I stopped my workout, logged onto the BBC site and voted 'hell'. I'm a heartless bastard me. Monster |
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Post by mekon on Mar 15, 2021 13:01:08 GMT
That's a rough hand there Diego. That's my lads age. I think it would destroy him as he's a bit of soft lad anyway (mother's influence). I get where you're coming from about perspective as my wife got overly upset about the bloke across the road and yesterday we walked past the cemetery (as you do) and she got all upset about mother's day. I'm sort like, well it's sad but everyone's mother dies at some point and I'm not crying over the idea of it until it happens.
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Post by spentcase on Mar 15, 2021 15:02:41 GMT
To quote Rocket Raccoon, "Everybody's got dead people."
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Post by mekon on Mar 15, 2021 17:29:39 GMT
A great song about dead people
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Post by Eddie The Bastard on Mar 15, 2021 18:27:50 GMT
I think the 'carry on' is a subconscious defence mechanism kicking in. If you don't you might ruminate too much and lose your shit. If you carry on, your brain is working on it behind the scenes. Yeah, that's about right, but where's the middle ground? If my wife is distraught about a neighbour we hardly know, how is she going to cope when one of her parents' numbers are up? Maybe she knows this isn't rational either and she's doing the opposite to me, i.e. getting a head start on grief and letting the excess out early? (Her step-dad is the same age as the neighbour that died, so she can't help but draw parallels). In fairness to Mrs TTC, having a covid death 'on the doorstep' would put the willies up me too. I used to think my Mrs would not cope as and when her parents might die but I have more confidence in her now. She' be upset but not so bad that she couldn't function. I guess the middle ground would be more 'traditional' grieving. |
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