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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Aug 28, 2020 13:29:56 GMT
You may have something there Meeks.
An extra angle could be to noise up retired detectives, possibly in the latter stages of dementia, and attempt to train them to use modern complex analysis tools to perform DNA tracing. It would be like trying to teach your nan to code in Matlab with hysterical results.
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Post by mekon on Aug 28, 2020 13:49:13 GMT
The instant gratification angle actually take me back to complaints....
Most of us are from an age when 'browsing' was a thing and now as soon as you walked in a shop some cunt pops out and asks what you're looking for....
NOTHING! I MAY BUY SOMETHING IF I FEEL LIKE IT!! These young cunts just don't understand looking through records or dvds for the sake of it. Even when I do want something I'll find it myself thanks!
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Post by Diego the toe clipper on Aug 28, 2020 14:18:05 GMT
I'd never realised the importance of Britain's hedgerows until now... Save our hedgerows!
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Aug 28, 2020 14:23:36 GMT
Gets on my tits when the cunt at the checkout asks me if I've had a good day when they clearly give as many fucks about my day as I give about theirs. I don't blame them, they're trained to do it. It's the corporate mass patronisation I fucking object to. Just teach them to scan barcodes, call for a supervisor and show just enough cleavage to keep me interested until I've bagged my yellow label reduced sausages which are going straight in the fucking freezer because the clock's ticking on the cunts.
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Post by pantah on Aug 28, 2020 14:27:32 GMT
I reckon old Taggert would have been well suited to solving said wank based crimes.
“There’s been a “masturbator”
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Post by mekon on Aug 28, 2020 14:55:36 GMT
Shopping is also shit now as you get told off like 5 year old if didn't notice the stupid arrows on the floor or some other transgression.
What makes it worse though is you are told off by some thick cunt who is proud of themselves for learning the arrows trick and maybe the hand sanitiser trick on entry, even though you only sanitised your hands 3 minutes ago in the last shop. It's like your stuck in a soft play and the kids are in charge.
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Post by no66 on Aug 29, 2020 7:19:21 GMT
Gets on my tits when the cunt at the checkout asks me if I've had a good day when they clearly give as many fucks about my day as I give about theirs. I don't blame them, they're trained to do it. It's the corporate mass patronisation I fucking object to. Just teach them to scan barcodes, call for a supervisor and show just enough cleavage to keep me interested until I've bagged my yellow label reduced sausages which are going straight in the fucking freezer because the clock's ticking on the cunts. I so glad I live in Norway where the corporate "have a nice day" line isn't a thing yet. Deff more of a genuine interaction between cashier and customer. What is ruining it is customers on their fucking phones jabbering away while trying open handbag, fish out purse, fish out cash card and then no thanks or even aknowlegement of said cashier. Really bad manners. When a coustomer comes to my warehouse to buy bearings (we don't really sell over counter but will help iff poss) and is on the phone I don't let them in. If they get a phone and start the conversation (usually loudly), I open the door and show them out. Come back later if you want me to help and show some apreiciation that I'm spending my time to help them find an obsure bearing for a 193 thingamajig. We all have to show more good manners, and a general intrest in others or at least a some form of respect. It costs nothing, nice wilth a bit of interaction on the bus, shop, or wherever. The world is heading in the wrong direction. |
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Post by mekon on Aug 29, 2020 8:12:25 GMT
No66 is the hero we need but not the one we deserve.
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Post by Eddie The Bastard on Aug 29, 2020 14:58:42 GMT
What cunt thought it was a good idea to end a TV ad with a door bell sound. Doesn't sound like mine, but every fucking time...
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Aug 29, 2020 15:00:53 GMT
What cunt thought it was a good idea to end a TV ad with a door bell sound. Doesn't sound like mine, but every fucking time... Police sirens on tunes. Particularly tunes I'm listening to inside my helmet. That can get utterly fucked. |
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Post by paulg on Aug 29, 2020 15:33:35 GMT
Gets on my tits when the cunt at the checkout asks me if I've had a good day when they clearly give as many fucks about my day as I give about theirs. I don't blame them, they're trained to do it. It's the corporate mass patronisation I fucking object to. Just teach them to scan barcodes, call for a supervisor and show just enough cleavage to keep me interested until I've bagged my yellow label reduced sausages which are going straight in the fucking freezer because the clock's ticking on the cunts. Similarly when the waiter at a restaurant comes over and asks if everything's alright just as you've just stuffed a large mouthful of fillet beef in your cakehole. Fuck off until you see an empty plate, dickhead. |
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Post by Droog on Aug 29, 2020 16:08:01 GMT
I could probably write a Dickens length novel on things that make me want to execute people for what most would perceive as minor transgressions. I probably drag a lorry driver out of his cab at least twice a month in some sort of road rage traffic incident. This may sound exaggerated but if you ever have to commute on a daily basis on the A13 and M25 then you would see that this is very easily achievable for any right thinking man. If a lorry driver pulls any of that stupid dangerous over taking shit with me then I get in front of them and slow them down to a stop. If they start giving me attitude, then they get my full attention. I fucking hate lorry drivers. The ones I work with especially. During lock-down this has thrown up plenty of new avenues to get enraged about. Not wearing a mask, ignoring social distancing and not following the floor plan in super markets have all made for some interesting encounters. I have made people reverse down an aisle at least twice now. Shit parking is a major offence in my book. My new next door neighbour has been made fully aware of this now. Fuck I could go on for hours. I'm such a miserable cunt. And everyone who knows me well says I'm so much more relaxed as I have gotten older.
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Post by Droog on Aug 29, 2020 16:23:57 GMT
Droog's Top Ten things That Get Him All Angered Up! 1. Bad Boxing Judging/Shit Refereeing. (Ian John Lewis especially). 2. Lorry Drivers. (All Nonces!). 3. The Establishment. (All Nonces!). 4. Gold Diggers (Not the old blokes literally digging up gold the Skank types who fleece in divorce cases). 5. The Police (98% of them anyway). 6. Traffic Wardens (All Nonces!). 7. Debt Collectors/Wheel Clampers (All Nonces!). 8. Prison Wardens (All Nonces!). 9. Don King (Total Cunt!). 10. Conspiracy Nuts/Flat Earthers.
Please reply with your own top ten.
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Post by mekon on Aug 29, 2020 17:26:57 GMT
1. Social distance cunts. I've never liked my personal space invading so this suits me.
2. 40 mph suits all cunts
3. People who buy t shirts and gear for something they don't do. Saw this fat cunt in a Thrasher t shirt. Fuck off fatty you need to earn that doing ollies down flights of stairs.
4. Chickenstrips on sports bikes.
5. Football. I fucking hate it.
6. Bicycle prices. Fuck off 8k bikes. It makes no sense.
7. People with no general knowledge. Not saying I'm Mr pub quiz but some people know literally nothing.
8. Mentally ill people. Fuck off. Your mentally ill not the new normal or whatever.
9. The police as they can't be arsed with anything approaching a hard job anymore.
10. Young people pretending they are into old stuff as if they were there. Fuck off, you don't 'GET' Nirvana or whatever as you weren't even born. Fuck off with nostalgia for shit you never experienced.
11. Nerd cool. When I was a kid, if you played d and d you got your head kicked in.
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Post by Droog on Aug 29, 2020 17:33:28 GMT
I enjoy a good nerd/geek youtube video on restoring an Amstrad CPC 464 or a video about some obscure tape deck. But there is nothing cool about being a nerd or a geek. Mind you I would never have bullied one as a young lad. I've always respected knowledge.
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