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Post by pantah on Aug 27, 2020 18:42:44 GMT
Ok so I’m a grumpy cunt but I feel the need for a get it off your chest about shit thread.
My new work commute is pretty much entirely two lane motorway (cheap skate Scottish version) and on a daily basis i get held up by HGV cunts overtaking each other like some kind of truck war which can literally take miles to complete. Pretty sure they aren’t even supposed to use the outside lane but it causes absolute bedlam. It’s cuntism of the highest order and should be punishable by hanging.
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Post by mekon on Aug 27, 2020 20:48:32 GMT
I once had enough that down the A1 on the way to Newcastle. It literally went for 5 fucking miles and I was so pissed off as soon as i overtook I moved in front of the lorry and slowed him down for about 1/2 a mile. TAKE THAT LORRY RACING CUNTS!
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Post by neilf on Aug 27, 2020 22:39:57 GMT
Dear BBC, I have just finished watching the The Musketeers on the iPlayer... for a period drama, I was disappointed to see that there was a distinct lack of heaving bosoms! That is all!
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Post by Diego the toe clipper on Aug 28, 2020 6:54:31 GMT
So, it's before 8 am. There's not a single car moving in the street below, nobody walking either. Everybody is on holiday / asleep or whatever. Along comes a fire engine on a call, driving slowly looking at the street numbers (presumably looking for the address of the call) with the fucking sirens blaring out at full bastard volume.
Why? Turn them off! When you were 12 it was probably your dream to drive a fire engine with flashing lights and a siren, but now you're fucking 38 years old! Hasn't the novelty worn off yet? And don't give me that crap about it's for safety... there's no cunt around!
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Post by spentcase on Aug 28, 2020 7:11:12 GMT
Ok so I’m a grumpy cunt but I feel the need for a get it off your chest about shit thread. My new work commute is pretty much entirely two lane motorway (cheap skate Scottish version) and on a daily basis i get held up by HGV cunts overtaking each other like some kind of truck war which can literally take miles to complete. Pretty sure they aren’t even supposed to use the outside lane but it causes absolute bedlam. It’s cuntism of the highest order and should be punishable by hanging. I understand your frustration, Pant's, but you have to bear in mind that truckers serve a vital role in our community, if it wasn't for them, the prozzie population would be out of control. |
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Post by pantah on Aug 28, 2020 8:10:48 GMT
Dear BBC, I have just finished watching the The Musketeers on the iPlayer... for a period drama, I was disappointed to see that there was a distinct lack of heaving bosoms! That is all! Sometimes you get enticed into watching the other half's choice of viewing but hold out for some titivation. Sadly the high numbers are where the choice cuts lurk. Bring back the red triangle. |
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Post by mekon on Aug 28, 2020 8:24:08 GMT
Dear Points of View,
I would like to complain about constant 40mph cunts. The bastards drive up your arse in 30 zones and then drift into the background in the 60s or the reverse where they hold you up for miles and then piss off into the distance in the 30 zones. CUNTS!!!
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Post by pantah on Aug 28, 2020 8:33:22 GMT
Ok so I’m a grumpy cunt but I feel the need for a get it off your chest about shit thread. My new work commute is pretty much entirely two lane motorway (cheap skate Scottish version) and on a daily basis i get held up by HGV cunts overtaking each other like some kind of truck war which can literally take miles to complete. Pretty sure they aren’t even supposed to use the outside lane but it causes absolute bedlam. It’s cuntism of the highest order and should be punishable by hanging. I understand your frustration, Pant's, but you have to bear in mind that truckers serve a vital role in our community, if it wasn't for them, the prozzie population would be out of control. Aye, it must be a bastard when you're raking along in your Scania at 56mph and the Volvo driving Morrisons cunt is doing 55. Every second counts except for when they're stuffing their fat faces in the greasy spoon cafe. The cunts |
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Post by Diego the toe clipper on Aug 28, 2020 8:33:58 GMT
Dear Points of View, I would like to complain about constant 40mph cunts. The bastards drive up your arse in 30 zones and then drift into the background in the 60s or the reverse where they hold you up for miles and then piss off into the distance in the 30 zones. CUNTS!!! This. Even worse when you get nabbed for speeding at 75 in an open countryside twisty 60 zone, but the cunt that trundles along at 40 past village parks and playgrounds at 30% over the 30 limit gets away with it every time!!! |
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Post by spentcase on Aug 28, 2020 10:51:23 GMT
Bring back the red triangle. +1 There's too much HD adult art on that there intra-ma-web these days. Old school is where it's at, where you have to work for gratification, the odd side-lobe of udder on late night Channel 4, or a gnarly old copy of Fiesta stashed in a hedge. |
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Post by mekon on Aug 28, 2020 12:33:56 GMT
What about a Gratton catalogue?
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Aug 28, 2020 12:42:13 GMT
...a gnarly old copy of Fiesta stashed in a hedge. See, I'm very fond of the current method of firing up a burner laptop and prepping a bogof mountain of Kleenex BUT it's too easy for the kids. It's too accessible for them. Make them hunt around in smelly bushes and risk hepatitis like we used to. It's character building. |
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Post by mekon on Aug 28, 2020 13:03:17 GMT
Who put the porno mags in bushes though? The porn version of santa claus? I lived in a village as a kid and up the old railway line was a prime spot for remnants of porn.
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Aug 28, 2020 13:07:45 GMT
Having given the scud-book-in-the-hedge scenario more thought, I clearly remember the unbridled joy of such a discovery in my early teens and also the great care required to separate the pages and reveal great hairy clams with all manner of health threats spattered over them. We never, ever paused to consider its back story and how exactly it may have ended up in that hedge for it was always a hedge.
There's surely a case for an enterprising TV producer to make CSI Wankbush where modern forensic and analytical techniques are employed to piece together the precise history of casually discarded hard-copy soft porn from it's first purchase through each and every page defiler. I envisage interviews with confused, retired newsagents and difficult interrogations (uncluding waterboarding if necessary) with elderly wankers in DNA-denial. There must be plenty of cold-case jizzbound Razzles in police evidence vaults the length of the cuntry.
May have wandered off topic slightly.
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Post by mekon on Aug 28, 2020 13:20:52 GMT
I bet the knowledge needed to crack this case is dead or dying. Modern porn detectives will be all about reverse image search and porn actor databases.
Roger Cook would probably have solved this but maybe it will remain a riddle now a bit like an Arthur C Clarke's Mysterious World episode.
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