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Post by mekon on Aug 25, 2020 20:25:11 GMT
I know, lets take a once decent song and play it really slowly then we can use it advertise cars or phones or banks or even fucking Viagra!
The latest victim of the slow version is The Proclaimers' 500 miles......to advertise Viagra. And don't even get me started with Volvo Born to be Wild....FUCK RIGHT OFF, VOLVO isn't the choice of the wild and adventurous!
I blame that Gary Jules cunt and Mad World.
FUCK OFF SLOW VERSIONS!
What next? An ultra slow version of In The Army Now to advertise war charity or maybe a slow version of Raining Men?
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Post by Eddie The Bastard on Aug 25, 2020 20:34:28 GMT
I'm glad its not just me. I hate this more than you realise. This utter cuntishness has got to stop, but I fear it has become too 'normal' now.
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Post by Droog on Aug 26, 2020 5:58:01 GMT
Nearly posted about this myself. Pisses me right off.
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Post by mekon on Aug 26, 2020 6:30:33 GMT
The only slow version I could sanction would be Joe Dolce and Shaddap Your Face.
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Post by spentcase on Aug 26, 2020 7:24:15 GMT
Agreed. It is what the French refer to as L'end du belle.
Clearly it is supposed to stir emotions, just not blind rage.
There's actually a part of me now that enjoys being angry, moaning and treating myself to a little shout at the tele. It's about the only upside of getting old.
If I was an advertising exec and was told to use a slowed up version of a song for Lloyds Bank, I would use Chaz and Dave's 'Gertcha.' At the start of the advert the camera would be all blurry, but as it pulled back and into focus you would see the Lloyds Horse's widgey (with the tide fully in) and every now and then the horse would give it a little flex each time the song said Gertcha.
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Aug 26, 2020 12:13:15 GMT
The Sex Pistols had gotten a bit shit after Sid died and Lydon left and The Great Rock n Roll Swindle is perhaps their poorest vinyl release having been cobbled together from dried shite and twigs.
Having said that, I do feel that a slowed down version of Frigging in the Rigging could lend itself to a cosy setting with a gently crackling log fire and a wistful looking milf gazing out of her kitchen window upon a wintry vista whilst sipping a steaming mug of Campbell's oxtail soup and quietly contemplating nipping upstairs to rub one out.
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Post by Diego the toe clipper on Aug 26, 2020 21:25:13 GMT
The Sex Pistols had gotten a bit shit after Sid died and Lydon left and The Great Rock n Roll Swindle is perhaps their poorest vinyl release having been cobbled together from dried shite and twigs. Having said that, I do feel that a slowed down version of Frigging in the Rigging could lend itself to a cosy setting with a gently crackling log fire and a wistful looking milf gazing out of her kitchen window upon a wintry vista whilst sipping a steaming mug of Campbell's oxtail soup and quietly contemplating nipping upstairs to rub one out. Beautiful words Noodle. Brought a tear to my eye that did. |
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Post by mekon on Aug 27, 2020 6:38:33 GMT
This is a forum of repressed advertising execs.
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Post by pantah on Aug 27, 2020 18:33:15 GMT
This is a forum of repressed advertising execs. Actually it’s a forum of cunts 😊 |
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Post by mekon on Sept 5, 2020 16:01:21 GMT
Fucks sake. Forgot about the relentless Renault advertsing on eurosport.
Slow Wonderwall for maximum lesbian Clio purchases. The Clio really is a gay car now. Maybe if id driven my mum's Clio back in the 90s I'd have bummed my mates senseless? Good job I took the Golf.
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Post by pantah on Sept 5, 2020 17:15:55 GMT
Fucks sake. Forgot about the relentless Renault advertsing on eurosport. Slow Wonderwall for maximum lesbian Clio purchases. The Clio really is a gay car now. Maybe if id driven my mum's Clio back in the 90s I'd have bummed my mates senseless? Good job I took the Golf. Bet you regret telling us about your Audi TT now Meeks. How’s things at the salon? 😁 |
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Post by mekon on Sept 5, 2020 18:23:02 GMT
Well the Mini is equally gay but not costing me hundreds of pounds a month to run like the other petrol hungry bastard. The TT was actually very 90s to drive. Heavy clutch, power steering on the heavy side and ESP like slamming on the anchors not subtle intervention. It was gay on the outside but straight and outdated on the inside. The mini is typical BMW and cheap as fuck unless you buy all the add-on packs from new.
IF I were to advertise the TT to a slow version I'd choose Turbo Lover by Judas Priest and have someone do slow-motion donuts around Rob Halford in full metal gear with his leather cap on a snowy Japanese road.
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Sept 5, 2020 22:18:14 GMT
Fucks sake. Forgot about the relentless Renault advertsing on eurosport. Slow Wonderwall for maximum lesbian Clio purchases. The Clio really is a gay car now. Maybe if id driven my mum's Clio back in the 90s I'd have bummed my mates senseless? Good job I took the Golf. Meeks, are you a homophobe? |
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Post by mekon on Sept 6, 2020 7:30:07 GMT
Probably, more through what seems to be a movement to push things beyond their natural scope. It's a bit like that 'some people are gay, get over it' slogan that got countered with 'some people are gay, we don't care, just shut up about it'.
It's the same for all these representation pushes. They all now push a picture that is unrepresentative. You'd think the UK was 30% black watching TV these days as its basically flavour (flav) of the month for big business to pretend to give a fuck about x, y or z hence rainbow Argos or whatever.
Such is the social media orientated world which bows down to the local minority who actually don't buy anything. Look and Marvel and D. C. comics. Spent the last few years flooding their comics with gay characters and coming up with Cyclops and Wolverine being gay on a moonbase, whixh pleased Twitter but oddly the business is now on the verge of collapse. Get woke, go broke isn't just a meme.
Car advertising has been fucked your years though since they stopped them using speed and handling as a selling point. The new Clio Sport it's fast as fuck... Sorry can't say that. OK I guess we'll just have to say it's gay.
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Post by Droog on Sept 6, 2020 16:38:17 GMT
Been watching Eurosport all day and that fucking Renault advert has been on about twenty times today so far. If I'm honest I thought Oasis were wank, and Noel is a very overrated song writer. But I can't stand this slow version of a song that I already thought was total shite.
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