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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Aug 14, 2020 21:03:38 GMT
This week we welcomed back our favourite lost brother, Spentcase. In scenes reminiscent of that famous biblical bit in the bible where Jesus is visited after many years by Abraham, Jacob's Ladder and Queen Latifah and utters the historic line "did youse cunts remember the chips? Fuckin' starvin' here", we all queued up to jizz on his beautiful face.
But this return, welcome as it fucking well is, raises more questions than it answers. Where the fuck could the cunt possibly have been for a decade without any internet?
To ensure total fairness, you can vote as many times as you fucking well like.
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Post by mekon on Aug 14, 2020 21:23:01 GMT
Deep-cover Facebook mission with Ninja. Involved in bummings.
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Post by pantah on Aug 15, 2020 7:14:06 GMT
Are they allowed the internet in her majesty’s nicks?
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Post by Diego the toe clipper on Aug 15, 2020 9:22:12 GMT
No idea where he's been, but I just voted for the option that sounded like where I'd like to spend 10 years without internet...
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Post by spentcase on Aug 17, 2020 7:30:35 GMT
It's good to be back, gents.
The closest one is option 3, simply because a. I am bald and b. I am still, despite being close to 50, not adverse to the odd little crafty milk.
If it's any consolation, there was no deliberate shunning of you super-hets. (despite your un-godly advocacy of ball-shavery).
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Post by Droog on Aug 17, 2020 7:46:18 GMT
I think none of the above options. Although I could see Spents living off the land off grid. Not John Rambo style just enjoying life.
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Post by mekon on Aug 17, 2020 7:55:03 GMT
Maybe he went to Bollywood and has just finished his 5 season run in the India version of Breaking Bad?
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Post by spentcase on Aug 17, 2020 8:28:20 GMT
I think none of the above options. Although I could see Spents living off the land off grid. Mate, you have no idea how accurate that is, I haven't been doing it obviously, due to having youths (I wouldn't enforce that lifestyle choice on them). But if it wasn't for the nippers that's where I would be (so long as I had access to watching sport). |
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Post by Droog on Aug 17, 2020 8:55:01 GMT
Me too. I looked into it at the beginning of this year when I split up with the ex and moved out of the house. Might give it another look when I'm 55 and can access some pension funds.
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Aug 17, 2020 9:10:34 GMT
I know a couple who lived off grid in Wales for 2 years. "Basically camping in a stone tent" was the verdict. Chucked it when kids arrived but they'd never go back. Absolutely love electricity and hot running water now.
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Aug 17, 2020 9:20:19 GMT
If it's any consolation, there was no deliberate shunning of you super-hets. (despite your un-godly advocacy of ball-shavery). Have you any idea of the steady hand required to complete this task when you're over 50 and they're super wrinkled? The fuckers droop so far that just reaching them is a mission. I have a bathroom tile on a pole around bar-stool height in my shower. I can haul them onto that and take my time with intricate razor work. Visitors just think it's for putting soap on. |
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Post by mekon on Aug 17, 2020 9:28:53 GMT
Speaking of missing characters, where is Norbs?
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Post by spentcase on Aug 17, 2020 12:23:43 GMT
If it's any consolation, there was no deliberate shunning of you super-hets. (despite your un-godly advocacy of ball-shavery). Have you any idea of the steady hand required to complete this task when you're over 50 and they're super wrinkled? The fuckers droop so far that just reaching them is a mission. I have a bathroom tile on a pole around bar-stool height in my shower. I can haul them onto that and take my time with intricate razor work. Visitors just think it's for putting soap on. Now that's a life hack. If I was into such unnatural rituals, the hardest part for me would be getting my plums up on to 'preparation shelf,' it would be like gathering up armfuls of hot mozzarella. |
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