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Post by mekon on Sept 22, 2019 11:38:29 GMT
Went to watch the cycling in Harrogate and had a few drinks with some people and one of the dads from school was lamenting that all he basically has now is memories of shit he used to do in his 20s and before.
Tbh, I've not ridden like an utter cunt for some time now, even before I stopped in 2010. I'm doubting I'll ever be chased by the police again (pre CCTV and onboard camera days)or dangerously walk across an old castle walls but surely I'm still out with family doing family stuff I can look back on or going out for half decent cycling sessions. Thing is i'll not be doing anything extreme as I've got a responsibility to stay alive these days but I was a bit surprised by how trapped some of the other dads felt they were.
I guess maybe I'm not earning that much but I leave work at keying machine and don't think about it but many of these guy earn more and drive better cars but literally just come home, eat, watch some TV and go to bed.
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Post by Droog on Sept 22, 2019 15:26:36 GMT
I get that train of thought. I went from doing whatever I pleased to being responsible over night about 5 years ago. I work, take care of my responsibilities and don't do much else. I rarely go out, haven't purchased any clothes in well over two years when I used to do that monthly. Retreating to the shed to do something is about as fun as it gets now.
Mind you I did do a lot of partying from age 30 to 41 so I kinda got that well out of my system. Even if I didn't have to work and funds were unlimited, I'd probably be doing similar but just on a bigger scale.
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Post by no66 on Sept 24, 2019 10:43:27 GMT
It's pretty sad to see how much people limit themselev after a ciretain age. Work, home, tv, repeat.
I probably should take it a bit easy and do think about my kids, but I think I would be pretty misrable if I didn't skate downhill, ride motobikes, go snowboarding etc.
Still making memories.
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Post by Eddie The Bastard on Sept 24, 2019 14:46:02 GMT
For me, the latter and no mistake.
My inlaws drive me mental. If I have to spend a prolonged period with them I end up walking off. If they couldn't start a sentence 'do you remember' and go back fucking decades, they'd have nothing to say. Their comfort zone is minuscule. It sort of drew the Mrs in, best example is holiday destination choice - I'm always advocating somewhere we've never been to but her brother would happily go to the same place every year and has done so.
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Post by mekon on Sept 24, 2019 15:21:05 GMT
I really don't get those fuckers. We don't really do the same place, apart from when we did Lego Land a few times but that's for the kid's memories not ours.
Bloke I work with goes out Morecambe way EVERY FUCKING YEAR! for the past 10 years! Before that it was same place in Greece but when his kid was born that cycle got broken and this one started.
My wife get's annoyed with me because I just do stuff as I feel like, rather than plan ahead. If I want to ride my bike I have no great plan just get and go where I feel like. Sometimes I feel I should have done elsewhere but whatever.
Off to Singapore next year but after that I want to get in Vietnam, South Korea, India and then I'd like to hit America again taking in stuff like the national parks rather than cities. Bloke I work with will still be with John McGuiness, saving his money up for god knows what as he has no interests.
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Post by Eddie The Bastard on Sept 24, 2019 15:55:19 GMT
My last post reads as if we go away with the inlaws as routine which we don't but we have 'crossed over' once before and will probably do once more. Like be fairly close geographically for a few days so the children can spend time with cousins and that.
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Post by neilf on Sept 25, 2019 12:44:24 GMT
For me it's a bit of both as we're using the past to make new memories. We have started visiting places that we went to as kids, but we've got our boys now and they've loved doing it. For the past 2 years we've house sat for a friend near Stamford Bridge, east of York (not SW London) whilst they go caravaning around France. This is more out of financial necessity, but there is plenty to do in the area so each visit has been different. We also love the quietness that the area has as it's out in the sticks and the night sky is breathtaking compared to living in Gloucester. It's close enough to the in-laws so that we can see them when we're up that way, but not close enough so that they can just "drop by" without some forewarning  I took my wife to Pembrokshire coast before the kids came along because I knew what the coastal walking is like in that area from when I was a kid. We've got dogs, she likes camping, so it made perfect sense to me. As for home life, I must admit that when I get in from work I help to put the boys to bed, make my lunch for the next day, make tea for me and the wife, then crash out in front of the TV because I'm knackered. Weekends are full of doing things with the kids and wife, shopping, visiting relatives and the occasional jaunt out into Wales on the bike. The boys are starting to take in interest in rock climbing, so that is something else that we've got to fit in somewhere but, seeing as this is how I met my wife (again, the past influencing the future), it shouldn't be too much of a chore. I'm not bothered about going out drinking, pubs and clubs anymore, so this life suits me fine. |
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Post by Diego the toe clipper on Sept 25, 2019 13:23:41 GMT
Honestly, I’m not too sure if I am doing what I want to do or not.
I did my fair share of stupid shit when I was in that brilliant period of being old enough to be able to afford it, and young enough to not have to answer to anyone. But really, that could be split into two quite clear groups of activities, one of which involved riding fast bikes too fast on public roads and generally getting away with things that make me cringe now when I think about it, and the other was going out partying. The partying didn’t really create memories anyway, in fact I would say that it deleted more memories than it created. I haven’t consumed anything illegal for years now, and I don’t miss it.
Nowadays I prefer to spend my money on travelling with my family, eating nice food, and generally living comfortably without going over the top. I hardly ever sit on our sofa, only watch bike racing on the TV and the odd Netflix / HBO series.
Sometimes I go through a phase of wishing that I went out on my bike more at the weekends to enjoy it rather than just riding to work and back, but then when the weekend comes and my wife says “you go out on the bike and I’ll do something with the kids” I realise that I would rather be with them than out on my own anyway.
I have to admit though, I am pretty envious of Neil with his foreign track days. I have Jarama less than 30kms from my house, and yet I still haven’t done a track day since I got back from Thailand 3 years ago…
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Post by neilf on Sept 25, 2019 14:13:06 GMT
A foreign trackday will happen once every two years due to rising costs and my wife not working; I went for a 4 year period (2012 - 2015) where I didn't do any! I did manage to fit in one road trip to the South of France during that time though, so it wasn't all doom and gloom but, I don't drink as such and I don't smoke, so all of my spare cash goes on trips  |
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Post by armstrongracer on Sept 28, 2019 16:22:40 GMT
Interesting thread.. I had my 60th a few weeks ago and realised I'm probably the most contented and happiest I've ever been in my life. I still do a lot of the stuff I did in my 20's but am a lot more laid back & happy to just enjoy it, even if I am totally shit at most of it now. I ride motorcycles, cycle, still go to gigs regularly and am a big cinema person. I've recently moved in with my partner so have inherited 2 kids, as well as 2 of my own. 4 kids between 11 and 14 keeps you young and engaged, stops me looking backwards. As some other posters mentioned, I did a lot of that shit other people look back with fondness for a longer than most, shagging, drugs, partying, travelling, I was still racing classics at 45. The memory bank is fairly full. Only real regrets are financial, I'm still having to work way harder than most of my contemporaries, but that's mainly due to previous life choices, which I don't really regret.
A mate is a film maker & just finished a documentary on Bill Drummond (KLF dude), went to a showing last night & Drummond did a Q&A, everytime anyone asked him about KLF he basically winced, "That was 20 years ago man".., he's mid 60's, still working on art & music projects, still looking forward to the next big thing. That's the way to be.
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Post by elnoodle the reasonable on Nov 13, 2019 12:37:41 GMT
I still do a fair amount of gigs and try to squeeze in one small festival every year (can't be fucked with the massive ones).
Will go to Thailand for a month over Xmas and new year. Usually come back from there with some lovely memories 😊
But aye, can't do the pace any more. Think I'm reasonably fit for a cunt my age but simple things take a greater toll on the body these days. Still commute to work on the 'Blade but can't really be fucked going out on it for no good reason. Utter fucking waste of an awesome machine tbh.
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gary
Junior Member
Posts: 66 
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Post by gary on Nov 16, 2019 16:40:27 GMT
Great post, good to read how you lot are doing even though I'm not around much these days.
Very much in the past, but the future is starting to brighten up a little. I crawled under a rock after my wife died 6 years ago, went out for a drink with a woman a couple weeks ago for the first time since. Not expecting it go anywhere but it showed me that life goes on and I need to rejoin the world. Started a diet and lost 15 lbs. so far (with 50+ to go - but it's a start!). For the first time in years things don't look quite as bleak.
Have done next to no riding over the past couple of years despite having a nearly new DR-Z400 in the garage and thousands of miles of dirt roads around me. I'm still recovering from a badly broken wrist last December - healed fine but little strength. Not healing as fast these days!
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Post by mekon on Nov 16, 2019 18:38:24 GMT
Good to hear from you Gary. The healing thing and age is a bastard. Seemed to get to 40 and stuff that used to take 2 weeks takes 3 months. Just don't do anything daft on the back wheel and bugger your wrist again!
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gary
Junior Member
Posts: 66
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Post by gary on Nov 17, 2019 20:08:29 GMT
but, I don't drink as such and I don't smoke, so all of my spare cash goes on trips I'd rather spend money on travel than anything else, not that I have done much lately. |
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Post by neilf on Nov 18, 2019 10:46:39 GMT
Good to see you're back Gary; has really been 6 years?! My Dad passed away just over 7 years ago and that has gone in a blink of any eye.
Grief is a very personal experience, how you move on and handle it is different for everyone. One of my cousins suggested that Mum should get out there and meet someone because it worked for her mum. My parents basically met when they were 16 yrs old and they were together until we lost my dad; in Mum's eyes they still are! Whether that is healthy or not is up for debate, but it's her choice and we (immediate family) respect that. Mum isn't interested in meeting anyone else and at 73, I don't blame her; we have't even got a headstone for Dad's grave sorted, but that's probably another thing which Mum would see as a finality.
Travel is good for the 'soul', even if it's a day trip!
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